Three weeks ago – the patient’s perspective

It’s hard to believe that these were taken three weeks ago.

Before I was wheeled into the OR, Jake whispered, “I love you” one last time into my right ear.  Hearing those words in that moment gave me a last boost of courage to face what I knew was going to be a very rough 24-48 hours.  When I woke up from surgery and looked at the clock on the wall, the entire wall fell to the side.  This happened every time I opened my eyes.  It was nauseating.  Yesterday I walked three large laps at the mall with my mother-in-law and today I walked around our block on my own.  It is amazing how quickly our brains can adapt to major change.

I’ve been reflecting back on the last three weeks a lot lately.  So much has transpired in such a short amount of time.  I had brain surgery and was discharged from the hospital three days later! That blows my mind. When I left the hospital, I was still dizzy, and not completely balanced, but mostly capable of walking on my own.  That blows my mind.  The prayers and emails, texts, and blog post comments continue.  That blows my mind. (And also makes me smile.)

There have been a few people throughout this ordeal who have told Jake that they started praying for me after not having been to church or praying in years.  Others have shared that reading about what my recovery has entailed has caused them to “reset” so to say and not take for granted the simple things in life that they are able to do without thinking twice – walking, picking something up off the floor, driving kids to and from.  I’ve even heard that kids have told their parents they are praying for me (without any prompting.) <Insert my tears here.>

After I was told I had a brain tumor last fall, I began to pray for healing.  It seemed like a logical prayer request.  Little did I know I should have been more specific.  God saw it fit to start healing areas in my life that I didn’t realize needed healing.  It took facing Norman to bring me to a place where I could see that my perspective on certain relationships needed a major adjustment and helped me realize areas in my life that were broken.  It has been hard – probably the hardest six months of my life, and I know He’s not done with me yet.  But I’m grateful for the chance to see how God is using it all – my diagnosis, surgery, and recovery, in ways I never imagined.

Three Weeks

We have tried to have a normal week as a family.  It went pretty well aside from #4 and #2’s medical care needs.   A while back I had a conversation with one of Veronica’s cousins about what kinds of things people post.  Somewhere he had heard or decided that opening a bottle of ketchup is something that is post worthy, otherwise posting about normal life can get boring.  I feel like I am at that point.  We didn’t open any bottles of ketchup this week, but a number of normal things happened.

We have asked #1 and #2 to use their alarm clock rather than relying on us to get them up which has resulted in a much more orderly morning routine.  #3 felt a little left out of the 6 am alarm, so #1 and #2 now wake her up when they are awoken.  #2 is a little reluctant to rely on a machine to make sure he gets up on time.  It was interesting to see him think about the risks of this change.  We didn’t tell him that we would get him up if the alarm clock didn’t work.  I am hoping he figures that out on his own.   I have been happy with how both #1 and #2 have taken ownership of this.  On Saturday #2 had a basketball tournament, and the rest of us went to a birthday party.  It was good to be out and see friends.  #3 went to another birthday party in the evening.

Somewhere along the way, I caught a nasty bug.  So I have quarantined myself in the basement bedroom, and my Mom came back to the house to help with the kids.  She has continued to help Veronica by taking her places for exercise and therapy and encouraging her.  It has been a good change of pace for Veronica to have someone to talk to other than me.

Veronica told me this morning that she can tell a difference in her energy this week as compared to previous weeks.  I am glad she is starting to recognize these improvements.  It has been disheartening to not be able to share the joy with her of all of the progress that I have seen because she has been in the thick of it.