5 Year ANniversary

Today is the five year ANniversary (AN=acoustic neuroma) of my craniotomy/tumor eviction. Five years and there are still times when I experience moments of “did I really go through all of that?”

Five years post-op feels different. Life has obviously gone on, I am living my “new normal,” and yet in the last few weeks I have had emotions hit me that I thought I had already processed. It’s been a bit unsettling. However, instead of burying my feelings, I’ve been peeling back layers and riding the emotional waves as best I can. Thank you, therapy.

I know this anniversary is one that my husband is experiencing as well, just from a different perspective. He waited for hours in the hospital as the surgeons worked to remove the tumor from one of my cranial nerves. One surgery, two different experiences. I spent last night re-reading the blog posts that Jake wrote on the day of my surgery and the first few weeks of my recovery. They are a reminder to me of how he will do whatever he needs to do for his family and how he can always find a positive perspective – something that was a huge encouragement to me during the first year of my recovery.

I am not the same person I was when I was wheeled into the operating room 5 years ago. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I am different. I know people change over time, but the difference I feel is not something I can necessarily explain. Rather, I can feel the difference inside me – some of it is good and some I continue to work on refining. Again, thank you, therapy.

How do you honor the anniversary of a day that was not joy-filled? For me, it varies year to year. This year, Jake and I went to lunch at a local Vietnamese restaurant. The phở was delicious and the conversation was good for my heart. I process things by talking, and Jake is a very good listener.

This evening was filled with shuttling kids around and attending a school board meeting. (Because the world doesn’t stop for brain tumor surgery anniversaries.) I did make time earlier in the day to bake a chocolate vinegar cake (GF just for me). I know I’ve written about it before. It’s one frequently enjoyed by Jake’s extended family and one of my favorite desserts. I made it for this ANniversary back in 2019 and felt it was fitting to make it again this year. So maybe that’s the best way to remember the day – with cake.

Stay tuned…5 year post-op MRI is on Thursday. I’m praying for clear scans.

1st Snow Day of 2023!

We are expecting several inches and strong winds, so the girls’ school decided to declare a snow day. They were on break prior to Christmas when Shecklet #2’s school district did the same, so I’m guessing that’s part of the reason behind the cancellation. The boys on the other hand, both had to return to their classes.

After playing outside for a while, the girls came in an made fancy hot cocoa drinks.

Day 1 in STL – 2022

This morning, Shecklet #4 and I went on a walk in search of decent coffee. Hotel coffee leaves much to be desired. I never thought of my self as a coffee snob, but the longer I drink it, the more particular I become. Perhaps that’s because I don’t like strong coffee and I miss my daily cup from the Keurig.

Our journey took us down the “Historic Main Street” of St. Charles, MO. The temps were pleasant (much nicer than back home) and it was a bit muggy from having rained overnight. After several blocks, we found a cute coffee shop where I ordered a vanilla latte and then we headed back to our hotel.

Our friend, (Shecklet #3’s Godfather) who is in STL for the Christmas season, met us at Immaculata Catholic Church and said Mass for our family and our friends, who were also in STL for the week. The church was beautiful. (Photo credit below goes to Shecklet #2 who asked to take photos of it after Mass.)

After Mass, we gathered in the rectory for lunch. Msgr. Gardin was kind enough to open his kitchen and dining room to our group. Fr. J. and Jake grilled steaks and burgers and Fr. J. prepared sea bass and sides. It was wonderful to get to share a meal with this great group! Sometimes God does show you why things don’t work out like you originally planned.

After lunch, Jake took the teenagers and tweens to the mall to see a movie – Avatar 2 in 3D. I went with our friends to the other side of the river (Troy, IL,) for a few hours. Before returning to MO, we drove down the highly-decorated street of our friend’s brother. The houses in the cul-de-sac go all-out and even have lights choreographed to music on a radio station. It is quite the sight!

After the movie ended, our group went to The Hill in search of a restaurant. We ended up at an authentic pizza place. Shecklet #2 said the pizza was some of the best he’s ever had. For dessert, we crossed the street and had gelato. Yum!

Christmas 2022

Our plans for Christmas break changed from road trip to homebound thanks to snow, sub-zero wind chills, and poor road conditions.

We had originally planned on traveling to STL on 12/23 to visit Shecklet #3’s godfather, then on to GA to visit family, and finally to FL to visit friends. On 12/21, the house was minimally decorated for Christmas, I was caught up on laundry, and we had minimal items left in the fridge.

If you’re wondering why there is an “M” on the tree on the right, Shecklet #4 asked if we could get an ornament for the baby we lost between Shecklet #2 and Shecklet #3. (I had a very early miscarriage in August of 2009.) We never named the baby until #4 started referring to him as the “microscopic baby.” That turned into the formal name, Mike. So the “M” on the tree is in honor of our other little saint in heaven, Mike.

School ended up being cancelled for Shecklet #2 on 12/22, so we we considered getting on the road a day early. However, IA looked like this:

We made the adult decision to stay safe and not risk the stress or potential car trouble while in a “towing not recommended” zone. Our cancelled plans meant we were able to play games as a family, decorate sugar cookies, and shovel lots of snow.

We were also able to attend Christmas Eve Mass at our parish.

Jake shopped for heavy appetizers earlier in the day for our after-mass Christmas Eve meal.

Christmas morning we opened gifts and relaxed for a few hours. Shecklet #1 assembled his LEGO set, we hung Shecklet #4’s new cork board, and Shecklet #3 got to work figuring out classic rock melodies on her guitar. Shecklet #2 had to wait to try his new goggles.

We headed to Jake’s parents house around 3pm for dinner and opening gifts. The Shecklets enjoyed getting to see their cousins.

Gingerbread houses 🏠

Things got a little silly tonight while we were building gingerbread houses. This picture captures so much about the personalities of the Shecklets.

And here are the finished houses.

My 2022 birthday

I turned 29 again this year and it was a great day! Shecklet #4 made me breakfast, Caribou treated me to a free beverage, and three of my kids joined me for a little thrift store shopping. (We found some good deals, which is always fun.) Dinner was takeout from a local Mexican restaurant and we had a Bundt cake for dessert. It was a good day. My heart is full.

Oh, and I was gifted new mats for my truck, which I am very excited about. (Tell me you’re middle-aged without telling me your age.) My previous ones had definitely seen better days – and had worn through!

And yes, Shecklet #2 finally passed me up. I’m officially the fourth tallest in the family. This was how things looked about a year ago.

Summer Saturday

We went back to Carver Lake for an afternoon of riding.

And then went to visit Aunt Kari. The guys dismantled a pallet and we did a little yard work for fun 😊.

We burned the pallet wood and had s’mores, too.

HBD Kari 2022

We gathered in Hastings to celebrate Kari’s birthday (a day early.) The weather was gorgeous, so we spent most of the evening outside. The Shecklets enjoyed seeing their little cousins ❤️

PPFL Banquet 2022

We were invited to attend the 2002 Prenatal Partners for Life banquet this evening. Mary Kellett contacted us to see if we were available to use three of the tickets purchased by a group who was no longer able to attend and wanted to offer them to someone else. We were able to take Shecklet #3 with us. It was her first “fancy” dinner.

During the presentation part of the event, we heard the story of a family who lost their little girl due to a chromosome defect. They were blessed to have a few days with her prior to her passing. It turned out that the little girl is the sweet baby who is buried next to Astrid. I ran into her mom while exiting the restroom and introduced myself. She told me that it is her MIL who will leave flowers at Astrid’s grave when she visits her granddaughter. I have often wondered who is behind the heart-warming gesture – now I know.